A page from Colin's notebook.

Since his death, I have kept my bestfriend Colin's collection of journals and notebooks. Some of them are diary style while others are filled with random doodles and writings. The other day I found a notebook of his in my office and I had no idea that I had it there. Flipping through it I wanted to see why I would keep something like this in my office, I found some interesteing things. For starts, I figured out the reason why. Several of the pages have been lacquered in with several large denonmination bills to which he then proceeded to write on top of the lacquered bills with a fine sharpie. And there are also some questionable stones embedded on the leather bound cover of the book.

As I continued to flip through the book, I read a few pages of it and found some interesting yet random enteries.

This one is on a page that is splattered staind with something dark, almost looking like a coffee spill but a bit more stylized:

"I have decided that I am no longer going to hold on to people on the premise of friendship. It's no longer worth it. The embitterment of stupid jealousies over clashing friendship followed with lies and the there after coverup. If you are going to be friends with someone that I am not going to get along with, fine. You can keep your friendship with them but you are not going to have mine. Enjoy your time with them."

This one is on a page that is perfectly white (which is rare in this book) but it is written in gold ink pen. The oil from the pen has seeped to the other side of the paper and to the next page, making a perfect identical impression but only in oil so the lettering looks translucent:

"These words are here today and are symbolized in gold (or a cheap version anyways) but the by the next it will be nothing but hollow words when it passes time and I have passed with it. Reflection of what is and what was and how important they are can be merely subjective. Either this will be read and remembered by others, as well as myself, or it will be binned."

This is on a page that has a elaborate maze that fills up the whole page right down to the edges and is drawn up in blue calligrapher's ink:

(Right across the middle with a sharpie) "This is life and how to enjoy it. Don't make sense of it, just try to to follow it, and find all the riches in each corner. If there are no riches, just enjoy the puzzle itself."


This is on a page that has a lacquered frame around three sides of the page of several Fifty dollar bills overlapping each other:

"Most people work ridiculously hard for what is around on this page (my darling bestgirl included) and here I am being fucking careless with it. So I say to the reader of this page, knowing what you know about this book and how it is a part of me, would you destroy it to get at its richly goods? Or would you be kind to my memory and preserve in its state? What you do says a lot about you."




I miss him and his whimsical theatrics.