Friends does not always equate to Friendship

In Ambrose Bierce's The Devil Dictionary, friendship is defined as "A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul."

And in the year and a half, I took this to heart because I found out the hard way how true this is.

One person who I believed to be my bestfriend, someone I could count on, did nothing but use me for her own benefit and advantage. And when she didn't need me anymore, she just ditched me.

Then of course there was the fiasco with my Ex-Husband, who I considered to be a friend at one point. But betrayal can prove you wrong in a very horrible way.

And now two more people have fallen to the wayside.

How foolish of to me actually believe that I could maintain a friendship with two people who are still very close to my Ex and his whore. I actually thought that by maintaining my friendship would them I would show myself that I could do it and be the better person. To be the more mature and level head person. But in the truth of it all, it hurts. I would be lying to myself if I said that it didn't bother me that these two 'friends' hang out more with my Ex and his bitch more than with me. I would be lying to myself if I said that it doesn't hurt me to see pictures of all of them having fun and a great time together. I would be lying to myself if I said that it doesn't break my heart know that they still favor him even though he hurt and betrayed me.

No one wants to choose sides to be on. And I can never ask them to.

So I'll just let nature do its job. I'll let nature take its place and do its undoing.

This unfortunately is continual theme in the story of my life. I always seem to be losing in my personal life in regards to 'good' friends. I guess that is why I am so good at being independent and self reliant.

But the ship will continue to sail on, even if there is only one on it.